"...iN tHEsE cRaZY tiMes..."

This is my go-to line for anything that doesn't make sense lately. For example:

• "In these crazy times I'll drink anything that's put in front of me."
• "I'll steal people's lunches out of the fridge in these crazy times."
• "Just get on those people's tab. These here are crazy times..."
• "In these crazy times, I just gotta be friends with whoever's left."
• "So what if the burger is burnt. These are crazy times and it's only $2.95."
• "You get a chaser that's the same size as the actual bloody mary. You can't go wrong in these crazy times!"
• "In these crazy times I even ate a cold meatball."
• "In these crazy times you just have to steal whenever you can."
• "I should have saved his number." "Yeah but that would be creepy." "Yeah but in these crazy times..."

HoT LiKe a hOt dOG.

DRooLiNg oVer DON DRAPER

tHe LoVE oF mY LiFe

Damn you, 20,000th dollar dog night connoisseur.

Last night I was in line at the Metrodome to get my dollar dog. THere was a sign up that said for the first 20,000 customers. I waited in line for about 25 minutes to get my hot dog and beer. Just when I was two people away, THEY TOOK DOWN THE SIGN!!!

saD buT TRue

(although not for me because my GPA sucked anyway)

i aLWaYs oVeR-pAcK

oFF tRacK

I'd like to keep my blog random for the most part with just a hint of a sandwich theme. Lately, I've been slacking at sandwich information. So in hopes to get back on track, here are some sandwich tips for you:

1. Never neglect the corners. They are important, too.
2. If you're bringing a sandwich in for lunch, make sure you take it out of the refrigerator about a 1/2 hour before you eat it. That way the bread can get back to room temperature.
3. Save one of the best bites for last. There is no shame in eating the crust first so you can have a middle piece of deliciousness at the end.
4. Throw your sandwich a bone. By this, I mean give it one special element. Why go with kraft singles when you can put a little Munster cheese on there. Or maybe a fancy mustard. Or a tasty hoagie bun. Just because it is a "normal" sandwich, doesn't mean it has to be boring.
5. Separate the tomato from the rest of the sandwich until you're ready to eat it. Nobody wants a soggy sandwich. This can be done by a simple piece of tinfoil or seran wrap separating the two in a container (thanks for the tip, Doug).

i LOVE a gOOd gRiLLeD chEEsE

Hallelujah!

For those of you wondering, the spider is dead! When I finally figured out this spider only came out at night, I parked my car in the burbs where it's pitch black. Then I came down late in the night, took out my night vision goggles (aka my dim cell phone light) and there she was in person...making her web. What an ass hole. I kicked her down before she could crawl back into the mirror. And that's all she wrote. (Or webbed.)

NoT tO bRaG bUt...

...I have a lot of talents. Recently a couple of them have really come to life. I'll just say it. I got a job offer as a pizza delivery man at Pizza Luce. I was picking up about 10 pops, 3-4 large pizzas and some salads for some people at work a while back and since it was so late at night, I didn't want to wait the extra 30 minutes for delivery so i figured I could easily walk down the alley and pick it up myself. The people there were amazed I could get it all and get back to the office. The guys said to me, "you can deliver for us anytime." There you have it. My other talent is more of a calling than a job offer. A plumber. I have fixed TWO different problems with my toilet now, all by myself. THere was no calling of boys or dads (or moms). Just me. Studying the problem. Finding the fix. If this advertising thing doesn't work out, looks like I'll be juuuuuuuust fine.

tWo ViDEos saY iT aLL

I like to think that MAYBE there are a few readers out there who aren't in advertising. If that's true and you're curious as to what it is like, this is it in a nutshell...

aT BattLe. wiTHoUt a pRaYeR.

I am at war with a spider. A very smart spider. Some of you know I don't drive my car very often. But in the last month, every time I come out to my car, there is a giant spider web reaching from my drivers side mirror to the driver side window. It wouldn't be a huge deal if it were anywhere else but I love driving with my window down. I figured I park next to a brick wall in an alley - must be spider alley. Turns out, not true. While getting gas the other day, an ugly, giant spider came out from behind the side mirror. Ah ha! Time for a car wash. That will get rid of him. Nope. Giant spider web next day. Time to aim the hose straight at the mirror and wash him out. That will get rid of him. Nope. Giant spider web next day. Time to go to the bar. As I'm driving home, a baby spider crawls out! So I flick him off. This smart (and what i have to assume is a mama spider) is now sending the babies to do the dirty work. This does not bode well for me. How will I ever get rid of her if I can't get at her???

TiMe fOR a sERioUs cHaT...

...about Macaroni & Cheese. While some my think I'm not an expert, I am. Here are some of my Mac & Cheese highlights, rankings and comments.

THE BEST

• McCoy's Restaurant baked Mac & Cheese
• Kraft Three Cheese Shells (cheap, easy but fantastic - must eat entire box)
• Smart Ones Three Cheese (if you must eat healthy - this is the only way to go)
• Noodles & Company
• Velveeta Shells & Cheese (granted I haven't had this since 3am in college but it was amazing)
• Kraft spirals (simple but solid)

THE WORST

• Amy's Organic (cheese flavored cardboard)
• Smarts Ones Regular Mac (cheese flavored shaving cream)
• Gluek's Restaurant Mac & Cheese (dumplings in a cream sauce)

I'm sure there are plenty I'm missing for both columns but these are what I could think of off hand. As mentioned in a previous blog, I ate at a Macaroni & Cheese restaurant in New York. It was awesome. See for yourself...

PeOpLe aRe shEEp!!! HaHaHa!

RaReLy dO i pOsT...

...a serious blog but today I need to. There are some projects we fight tooth and nail on with the client. It gets to the point where something is so watered down, so far from the initial concept or totally client directed, that I wish we could do our version the way we want and the client could do the version they want. We would run them in the same pubs/tv stations/whatever and somehow test the different creative. I am most certain that ours would be WAY better than the client's from not only a creative aspect but ALSO (believe it or not, Mr. Client) sell more/increase awareness/etc. - whatever the goal was. Clients always think we're out to screw them and we only look out for our portfolio or awards. It's not the case. If we were to create something that looked awesome but hurt sales/damaged the brands reputation/etc., there is no way we'd be in business. Yes, we want to do good, creative work but we also want the client's business to succeed. That reflects well on us too. DUH.

jUnGLe jUiCE

So....Japanese farmers have started growing square watermelons since the round ones take up so much room in the refrigerator. However, looking at these gigantic square watermelons doesn't exactly say 'takes up less room' to me but it DOES say 'perfect container for jungle juice.' No more worries about having the watermelon roll over on its side spillin' "the juice."

HooTMaiL

I'm going to start a new email server called hootmail.com. You can only send funny things through it. The filter will throw all non-funny things away.

I aM tiReD oF tHEsE...

hEaRd iT. LovEd iT.

Fear is the darkroom where the devil develops his negatives.

i'M iN a nEw yORk sTaTE oF miND

I went to New York for the first time ever this weekend. Here are my stories/observations:

1. The second we got out of the cab when we arrived, this homeless guy made a spitting sound to my friend and said the following: "Dirty Whore. Why don't you just stand there and get raped." Ha! When she asked him what his problem was, he screamed "you're the problem." She looked pretty slutty in her pumas, jeans and hoodie. Oh wait, not so much. But nontheless, it was super hysterical. So we spent the rest of the weekend calling her a dirty whore.
2. One hungover morning we went to go eat lunch at a restaurant that...(wait for it)...served ONLY Macaroni & Cheese. Talk about my dream come true. Any city that has its own Mac & Cheese restaurant has got my vote.
3. Caramel Crunch Bars taste good in NY too.
4. I wanted to see a celebrity and/or a rat. To me, that says New York. What did I see? A turtle.
5. Dinosaur bones are freakin' cool.
6. I met Chusher. For those of you don't know, he's the Chinese Usher.

sO FuNNy i aLmoSt pEEd mY pAnTs

iCE. cOLd.

This weekend was the season opener for my golf game. It was pointed out that I have the Rodney Dangerfield bag from Caddyshack.

Last year I got a new golf bag for my birthday. I went to Golfsmith knowing I could pick out any one. What was my main concern? Color of course. I'm a girl. The one I found came in a few different styles but only one style offered a feature that was hard to resist: a built-in cooler. Decision made.

Not sure if I'm the envy or laughingstock of my fellow golfing buddies but no drink cart in sight and need a cold beer? Look who's laughing now.

SNoWbiRds fOR a nEW GeNeRatiON

With this winter being so horrible, I have devised the perfect plan. My agency should open up an office in Scottsdale, AZ. Everyone would have the choice to work down there if they wanted - snowbird style. We would have agency housing in a retirement community-like place. We could drive golfcarts instead of cars, have wireless by the pool and meetings by the shuffleboard tables. Instead of having east coast and west coast offices, we'd be the only agency in the U.S. with summer & winter offices. HOW COULD YOU GO WRONG???

On the way to work.

i WisH i wAs a cAt...

...for two reasons. So I could nap in the sun all day and have 9 different lives to live.

NeVeR faiLs tO aMuSe mE

sNaP sNaP

I was in Seattle over the weekend and saw Getty Images offices. Do you think working there goes like this...

1. Show up in the morning with your coffee and camera.
2. Your boss gives you the subject of the day (i.e. mailboxes).
3. You leave the office and go take as many pictures of mailboxes as you can.

If so, I want to work there.

DoN't foRGeT tHE miNt

My family always jokes that my Dad's middle name is "don't inconvenience me." However, a couple years ago, he went to the grocery store and got all the ingredients to make himself a Mint Julep for the Kentucky Derby. Watching him make the simple syrup for this drink was super hilarious. For those of you who don't know, making simple syrup is kind of a process. So it was the fact that he was taking the time to do this (from scratch) just to have his themed drink for the race was what made it so funny.

My point? Grocery stores are usually out of mint during this weekend so if you, too, would like to make a Mint Julep for this occasion, I suggest planning ahead. That, or raid someone's garden.

Ted & Fred

Two of my friends just moved in together. One is tall. One is short. They remind me of one of my favorite books growing up, "Big Dog, Little Dog." Ted was short. Fred was tall. Ted liked red. Fred liked green. Ted cleaned the floors. Fred painted the ceiling.

Now fast forward to my friends, Ted & Fred. Fred puts the booze above the fridge. Ted puts the veggies in their drawer. Ted is little in the big room. Fred is big in the little room. Ted likes shots. Fred likes pints.

You should see when they go camping.

SoUtH daKoTa sHoWs soMe LoVe

The drinking involved with DOUG ON VACATION has gotten pretty crazy. And late night happy hours always pose the driving dilemma. However, Heath has just informed us that in South Dakota, they just passed a law that it is okay to drive your horse home while drunk. He ALSO offered to give us a ride after the next happy hour.

tHE dRuNk eBaYeR stRiKeS aGaiN

First of all, I love random going out nights. Not sure what it is but those always end up being the most fun. So last night, after a quick beer turned into all night drinking, sushi-ing and getting drenched in the rain, I went home and proceeding to do some things that I had forgotten about until this morning. Email. The Phone. They are the devil! But only because when I get drunk, I usually can't remember what I said/did until someone reminds me. Someone - or something. Like all the emails in my inbox saying "congratulations! you won..." Luckily what I bought I like. Luckily my response to a friend letting me know she's pregnant was not horrible. Luckily I ran out of pistachios so I didn't wake up to shells everywhere.

On another topic, this woman I sit next to just bought a case of this low sodium soup on the internet and cardboard containers they are in are piled up on the shelf in between us. The problem is that these containers look EXACTLY like Ben & Jerry's ice cream containers - colorful, same size, same fonts, etc. And they just stare at me. All day long.

tHiS mAde mY DaY

This damn flag promo for Harley is killing me. It has been the bane of my existence for the past few weeks. Anyway, they called today wanting to know the font of the flag type is for their crappy online agency and guess what the title of the font is...."You are loved - regular." HA!

tHe ReAsOn i cAn't tAke a LoT of mY fRieNds to MoNtaNa iN tHe suMMer:

A sHocK tO mY sYsTEm.

After another shitty day at work full of bad news, I come home to read my celebrity gossip and get the worst news of all. THE GOLDEN GIRLS WILL NOT BE SHOWN ON LIFETIME ANYMORE. You have NO idea how much this depresses and affects me. The Golden Girls is quite possibly my favorite show on TV. First of all, you can't go wrong with old ladies talking about sex and ripping on each other for being old. Second of all, I watch this show every night before I go to bed. It's my escape. The only downside is it didn't always help me fall asleep because I'd be giggling throughout both episodes. I looked forward to this every night. In fact, I used to go to bed earlier until I fell in love with the show and purposely stayed up late just to watch it. This is a tragedy. Wishing I could sink into oblivion right now...

LiKe a ProUD mAMa.

So my sister and her friends got enough guts today to use a fake at a liquor store. I remember when I was in high school one of my best friends got her cousins ID and just about every other day, we would drive down to this ghetto liquor store across from Valleyfair and buy booze. She'd dress up in black hoochie boots, a short skirt and get her giggle on. As the rest of us waited in the car, I remember seeing her walk out of the liquor store literally pushing carts of alcohol. Those days make me smile...

I miSS mY cHRiStmAs noOsE aT tiMeS LiKe tHeSe.

i'M buYing a BoAt wiTh mY taX reFuNd!

Funny side note: while searching on flickr for "bathtub and boat" I came across this: http://flickr.com/photos/filegirl/362144336/

My FaVoRitE piAnO sOnG

Randomly tonight, I remembered how much I used to like playing Flight of the Bumblebee on the piano when I was little. So when searching for a You Tube video, I came across this Guitar Hero version! I didn't even know they made that. But considering I always get booed off stage during my Guitar Hero attempts, I think I'll just enjoy this from afar.

BeeR BottLe aNd sPoNGe

For those of you who know me well, you know I love using beer bottles as my microphone when I'm singing along at bars (or, eh, weddings). Well my good friend, most commonly referred to as buh-buh-buckner, has now thrown a new option into the mix. Now I can sing in the shower! Because let's be honest, can anyone really sing without a microphone? No. They can't.

This morning my boyfriend tried it out for the first time and loved it. Damn he looks hot in those sunglasses.

FiNaLLy I caN R.I.P.

WHaT i LeaRNeD iN HaWaii

1. Waterslides are still fun at this age.
2. I think I'm losing pigment in my feet. They were barely getting tan at all. My family called me 'boots' all week.
3. The more I travel, the more I am reminded how much I hate Minnesota. Every part of Hawaii looked like a postcard. Every part of Minnesota looks like a nightmare.
4. Kauai is the wettest place on earth. Next time I go, I am shaving my head beforehand. No, really.
5. My love for wind is confirmed. Granted, it needs to be warm wind but it's great. Not only does it keep you cool but it lets you smell the ocean breeze, flowers, etc. Granted you need to be in a nice smelling place but it's great. Okay - so there are some prerequisites but all-in-all, I love wind.
6. Caramel Crunch bars are just as good in Hawaii as they are here.

"Mom, am I a werewolf?"

"Shut up and comb your face."

And they're off!!!

wHeN sHouLd i EAt mY sHiRt?

I bought a shirt on Ebay. Not just any shirt. A shirt made from soy. I wouldn’t have noticed except poor Matt got stuck sitting next to me at the bar while I was shopping on Ebay with his iPhone. BUT, since he’s SO SMART, he pointed out the amazing fact that I could eat my shirt. I love food so I’m wondering if deep down, I knew exactly what I was bidding on. But now that has me thinking of my next purchase. Should I go completely organic? Edible underwear perhaps? Candy necklaces? Hemp bracelets? Or maybe I should keep this shirt in my car in case I ever go off the road and am stuck in there for days without any food. My mom would be so proud. She’s always making sure I have the proper equipment in my car of any sort of emergency. Trust me. And I actually had it all until some fucking ass hole broke into my car and stole it all. Anyway, I digress. Shirts you can eat are awesome.

WhO's mOvE iS iT?

Recently, I've taken up playing battleship on Facebook. The way the game is set up online, reminds me exactly how work feels lately. Instead of saying "your turn," it tells you who is waiting for who. "Waiting for Britta." "Britta is waiting on you." "Andrea is waiting on you." You get the point. At work, I am waiting for Britta. She is waiting for me. Who's move is it? Back and forth, back and forth. All day long. One difference though. When a boat blows up in battleship, it's a good thing. You're getting close to the end. When a boat blows up at work, it's quite another.

Dear Stranger living under my bed,

I could handle you taking all the paper towels and eating my bananas. I could even handle when you hit your head under my bed while I was trying to sleep. Granted, I had just finished watching a scary episode of Dexter so I was a little on edge but nonetheless, I felt it. I know you're living under my bed but I'm too scared to look and kick you out. I hadn't heard from you in a few days so I thought you had maybe left but I come home tonight to find you've changed the channel on the TV in my room??? I specifically remember falling asleep to Golden Girls last night. That is NOT on Fox. I also saw all the muddy footprints that you brought in. I at least try to step on the rug every time I walk in the door. Next time you're out, can you at least do me the favor of buying more milk? We're out.

Oh - and for those of you wondering...

...here is my violin.

I'm a geezer.

You know how "they" say one day you will wake up and you're old. That has happened to me. It was last week in fact when I woke up and looked in the mirror and saw wrinkles on my forehead. Lately there have been other things I've noticed too. For example:

1. Wrinkles
2. I talk to strangers.
3. I'm not embarrassed to tweak my order at restaurants.
4. I like to stay home, cook and paint or watch movies. By myself.
5. I don't live at the bar anymore.
6. I actually prefer to go out for a nice dinner during the weekend vs. going to the bars.
7. I have officially made the switch to Diet Coke.
8. I WANT to wear sunscreen when I'm outside.
9. I think through things before I make decisions I will probably regret.
10. I don't drive as fast.
11. My tolerance is lower.

There are others that I can't think of right now but I think those say enough. Now what? Do I try to act crazy again and make stupid decisions or mistakes? Do I try to get drunk every night? Try to convince myself I'm still young? I've got the blues...

the BiRd's the WoRd

WaNteD: BuSiNeSSmaN

My friend, Negator, is always looking out for my love life. In fact, we're approaching our year anniversary when she started looking for love connections. Since then, I have gotten numerous "leads." I get shit for this but yes, I want what I fondly refer to as "a businessman." (Side note: businessman does not mean salesman, does not mean he has to wear a suit, etc. - this term has been blown completely out of proportion by a few people who shall remain nameless.) Anyway, a few months ago, "a businessman" appeared on her doorstep for Halloween. We decided he was too young for me. Now, here is the latest "businessman" she has found for me. And I must say, this one could have potential...

(also referred to as the "hug me pillow.")

Reflecting on the Weekend...

1. I'm not sure if there is such a thing as too much Scrabulous but here's my problem: I was walking home on Friday night and (without realizing it) assigning point values to letters I saw on license plates. I finally realized it when I got really excited to see an XXJ license plate. Wow.
2. Have you been to Southdale recently to see a movie? When I go there, I actually get excited to dry my hands. The bathrooms now have this super sweet hand dryer that basically has lazer air. If this air could cut you, it would. Definitely drink a pop during the next movie you see there.
3. My best friend just got engaged. If any of you saw my facebook status recently, that's what "another one bites the dust" is referring to - even though I'm kind of kidding. I've actually been pretty lucky. Most of my good girlfriends are not married. And if there is one couple I'm ridiculous happy for, it's them. I hang out with them all the time -both together and separate- and A)rarely do i feel like a third wheel and B)they are a couple that I think more people should be like. They actually can spend time apart and go out separately. They still say the word "I" instead of "we." (Side note: I fucking hate when people revamp their entire vocabulary to include their significant other. WOOF.) So if they continue to be cool throughout their married life, and I continue to be uncool, maybe I'll pull a Joey from Friends and live above their garage.
   

AppLe FRiTTeRs

I'm blogging for two reasons today. One, so that icky blog I posted yesterday doesn't show up on top of the page anymore. I can't believe I even added that picture. It's gross. And two, to tell you how much I love apple fritters lately. I blame a certain office services person. WHen I started at CL, they always served donuts at the welcome breakfasts. Then for a while they got cheap and started serving breads, dried cinnamon rolls, etc. But now, they're back to the donuts. But this time, the spread is better than ever. Almost any kind of donut you want is available at these breakfasts. A couple weeks ago, I came late and had a somewhat limited selection. However, staring me in the eye was an apple fritter. Sure, I've had them before and they're good so I figured, why not? Boy was I wrong. As Tony the Tiger would say, "they're not good, they're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!" Well now I can't get enough. Welcome breakfast? I'm one of the first ones running down there to claim my apple fritter. Starbucks? Apple fritter. Byerly's? Apple fritter. But the worst part is, now I actually go out of my way to get one. I've always thought starting your day out with a donut is a really good sign. An apple fritter takes that to a whole new level.

WoULd YoU WaLK or WaiT???

A Monkey AND Porn!

By now, most of you have heard the rule of never deleting a monkey. I happen to stumble across this picture while looking for Harley-Davidson dealer logos. As my friend Negator clearly pointed out, she needs a bra fitting.

BaNsHEEs

More and more I've been questioned about the capabilities of a banshee. Yes Matt, you can text like a banshee. Yes Mama, I shed like a banshee. Yes person from work, I'm busy like a banshee. Yes Jesse, you can eat like a big banshee. Banshees are very versatile. The question is - can you keep up? Right now, reader, you might be confused. But are you confused like a banshee???

I HaVe tHe AnsWeR.

SOUP.
The main reason I rarely cook is because I can't afford to buy crazy ingredients all the time. If I decide to buy something out of the ordinary (and this for me means anything besides macaroni & cheese, grilled cheese, mini corn dogs, pudding pops - you get the idea) a majority of the ingredients go to waste. I'm rarely home and when I am - it's just me! But NOW, soup is my answer. Tired of bruschetta or caprese salad? Still have tomatos, basil and fresh mozzarella? Tomato soup! Still have all the ingredients left over from Thai Chicken Pizza but no pizza crust? Thai Chicken soup! Still have extra scallops, clams, crab and shrimp? NO! I wish. But if I did....SOUP!!!

PaSSioN

It's not something you can magically turn on or off. Whether it be a relationship, a project, a hobby, a career. How is a person supposed to just stop caring one day when they've invested so much into it for so long? Sometimes you're forced to stop caring, other times you know it's for your own good. But even when you have to stop for one reason or another, can you?

DeSpeRaTioN

WhaT DoEs YOUR bEd LooK LiKe?

So I got in an interesting conversation last night at bowling (which by the way were some of the worst games I've bowled in my life). Why are girls' beds always nicer than boys's beds? Sleeping is something we have in common. There is no difference in the way girls sleep or the way boys sleep. I've heard girls snore with the best of them. And I'm not saying this is a good thing. Nonetheless, do girls just like to be more comfortable? We always have big down comforters, fluffy pillows, high beds, etc. Boys barely have more than one sheet. And what's the point in having a pillow if it's super flat? You boys are always sprawled out in your recliners, scratching your balls and whatnot. Why not be as comfortable in your bed as you are on your couch? What gives?

ANoTheR gReaT sANDwicH

As I was sitting at lunch yesterday, I couldn't help but notice the perfection of the Jimmy John's hoagies. Apparently you can buy just the bread. When I lived in London, there was a sandwich place a few blocks away from where I lived and it was amazing - Raison d'Etre. I've been thinking about this sandwich ever since. It had fresh mozerella, mayo, tomatoes, ham, etc. All in this delicious french bread/hoagie. I think I am going to try to recreate this sandwich with the JJ's bread. I'll keep you posted on how it turns out.

P.S. I have a dead, stuffed goose just hanging out in my apartment for an upcoming Jack Links shoot. It's wings are fully extended and everything. It's really creeping me out.

CouLd I diE toDaY?

This post is going to seem somewhat morbid but I don't mean it to be. But in the past two days, I keep waiting for our building to collapse. With the construction below and next door, our building has been shaking and trembling like a banshee. Sometimes it's so bad people around me yelp or it becomes a topic of conversation. Other times, everyone just continues doing what they're doing - almost as if they didn't even notice. But it's becoming increasingly bad. As I sit in meetings or at my desk, I look around and wonder could one second be normal, everyday life and the next second the floor dissolves underneath us? In moments like those, do you know you're going to die or does it just happen? Can you feel yourself fall? Was someone in the World Trade Center sitting in a conference room watching a plane come closer and closer to their window and realize what was happening before it happened? Or do we all just peacefully and instantaneously die without the nanosecond of fright or seeing our lives flash before our eyes? The shaking doesn't scare me. It's kind of exciting. I'm just curious, that's all.

NeVeR sWaLLoW BuBBLeGuM

youR oPiNioN iS NeeDeD

I really want to get this t-shirt but I'm afraid people might actually be offended by it. Who - I'm not sure but I just think it's really funny. And no - I don't plan on wearing it to a casino. In conclusion, I have reservations about buying this shirt. What do you think?

iT's aLL aBouT chEEsE & LigHting

Enough said.

THe TiMe Has cOMe...

I need to discuss my face and set the record straight. Once again, I got called out today on having a weird look on my face. I won't even say the word that was used today but it's not good. The problem is, you see, is that I don't have the best vision but yet I refuse to get glasses (too expensive) or contacts (too much of a hassle - especially if I am drunk). Therefore, if I'm in large meeting rooms or large areas for that matter, I tend to squint. Also, if I'm focusing really hard one one person and listening intently, I scrunch my face. I don't realize I'm doing this at the time but people consistently think I'm angry or that something is wrong. It's not.

On a side note - do you know how many people randomly stop me on the street or yell out to me "smile!"? A lot. It bugs the shit out of me. A)I don't know you and B)don't we all make fun of those people who walk down the street with a smile on their face? I do. They might as well be skipping.

I worked at a bar in college. I had applied to be a waitress but they stuck me as bartender from 3-8 on Wednesday nights. It wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that I was the ONLY person "on duty" at the time and I was supposed to run the games (including outdoor volleyball), make food(!?!?!?!?), and tend bar. I know how to pour beer and make vodka tonics but that's pretty much it. I was always so scared someone was going to order food or ask me to do something I had no idea what or where it was. Luckily most of the time it was just regulars (old men) who drank beer, never ate and tipped me really well. Anyway, they called me Sunshine because I never smiled. I was nervous! I quit that job within two months.

Yippee.

I think I'm going to start using this word more. Yippee!

DoN't Stop BeLieVing

Drinks. They always get me in trouble. On Friday night I decided to do Karaoke, which I NEVER do. To a live band with no lyrics no less! Good thing I know most of Journey and had a trio. But hmmm... who did I run into at the bar? People my dad works with. The pictures you see are pictures they apparently took and sent to my dad. Embarrassing.

a treat for YOU!

LunCH WitH NEGATOR

It's just as it sounds - negative. Don't get me wrong - I'm quite used to Negator complaining about one thing or another but today was particularly bad. The goal was to have hangover food (i know, i know - she wasn't hungover but it's not my fault she chooses to leave the bar at 6p). Originally we had plans to go to Hams (see first blog) but once Matt and Doug decided we needed a burger, Ikes it was. So she was all about ditching Hams and going to Ikes. We should have known it would be a long wait at Ikes. Their burgers are fantastic. Plus it's freezing outside. So we ended up at Glueks. And who complained the entire time -that's right, Negator. THE ENTIRE TIME. When you're in a group of people and everyone else is laughing while one person is sitting there bitching the entire time, it's not rocket science to figure out how she got her name.

The name Negator reminds me of a dinosaur. Not sure why. But I do love dinosaurs.

To quote Kevin McAllister : I had a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.

i LoVE tHiS DuDe

Yes, he's wearing a coat. Don't ask.

tHouGhTs oF tHe DaY

1. Drinking is the cause and solution to all my problems. But damn I love a good Cuban Martini. Thanks boys from detroit!
2. I think I could listen to the theme song from Dallas all day long. But I would probably drive Linda and Chenney crazy.
3. I'm having a great time playing Scrabulous today. My Grandpa would be so proud.
4. I'm still beating Jesse at our long-standing cribbage tournament. My other Grandpa would be so proud.
5. I wish I was a bird and could fly south for the winter.
6. Despite the cold, I'm still in the mood for a DQ Blizzard right now.
7. "The Birds" movie is ssssssscary!

I waS oNcE tOLd...

...never delete a monkey.

NiCe HOoTeR

Recently I bought an owl necklace. I showed Matt today and he told me he likes my hooter.

TruST mE

If you know me at all, you will know that the second I get into work, I'm already thinking about lunch. While I am trying to eat better/save money, let's be realistic here... However, in this blog, I'm not so much thinking about today's lunch but just food in general. Which leads me to the best pizza place in the world - ROCKY ROCOCOS. If any of you have had their Italian sausage pizza, you are already agreeing with me. In fact, recently I have had some bonding experiences with others regarding this very pizza. For others, they can only imagine this perfection based on my other pizza recommendations (i.e. the infamous pokey stix). I grew up with this pizza. I'm not going to lie - my brother even had a birthday party there. I think he still has the t-shirt. But slowly, each Rocky Rococos in the Twin Cities started to shut down. I know this because my mom and I used to show up at these establishments only to find out we would be deprived of this delicacy. First Eden Praire closed, then Southtown, then Dinkytown. However, there is one location that remains alive and (kind of) kicking. Granted you have to drive through the ghetto to get there but good ol' Brooklyn Park remains true to my soul. Each time I show up, I close my eyes and pray that it has not been shut down. When I open them, once the Aldi's moves out of the way, that's when I see the treasure. I would love to say I only get one piece (they're large & square after all), but I just can't say no to a second piece. Rocky Rococos will always hold a special place in my heart (my mom knows just how much - wink, wink). Did you know that I actually entered a contest there writing a 500-word essay on "why I love Rocky Rococos?" 500-words is not a lot when you have as much to say about this place as I do. This was just two years ago. No joke. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. The point is, next time I go to Rocky Rococos, you should come with me. You'll love it (if you don't already).

YoU hEaRd tHe mAn

iT's BeeN a bLoG tiME.

In the past day, there are three things I can't stop thinking about...

1. A good sandwich, which I got on Saturday at my favorite deli, HAMS. I recommend the "design your own" sandwich. That way you can get exactly what you want. They let you choose EVERYTHING and it's all super fresh. I'm going back next weekend.
   
2. Caramel CRUNCH bars. They remind me of this candy bar that I used to sell back in Elementary school that I couldn't get enough of. I ate all of the bars I was supposed to be selling.


3. The new freeway, 312. It's fantastic.