Oh - and for those of you wondering...

...here is my violin.

I'm a geezer.

You know how "they" say one day you will wake up and you're old. That has happened to me. It was last week in fact when I woke up and looked in the mirror and saw wrinkles on my forehead. Lately there have been other things I've noticed too. For example:

1. Wrinkles
2. I talk to strangers.
3. I'm not embarrassed to tweak my order at restaurants.
4. I like to stay home, cook and paint or watch movies. By myself.
5. I don't live at the bar anymore.
6. I actually prefer to go out for a nice dinner during the weekend vs. going to the bars.
7. I have officially made the switch to Diet Coke.
8. I WANT to wear sunscreen when I'm outside.
9. I think through things before I make decisions I will probably regret.
10. I don't drive as fast.
11. My tolerance is lower.

There are others that I can't think of right now but I think those say enough. Now what? Do I try to act crazy again and make stupid decisions or mistakes? Do I try to get drunk every night? Try to convince myself I'm still young? I've got the blues...

the BiRd's the WoRd

WaNteD: BuSiNeSSmaN

My friend, Negator, is always looking out for my love life. In fact, we're approaching our year anniversary when she started looking for love connections. Since then, I have gotten numerous "leads." I get shit for this but yes, I want what I fondly refer to as "a businessman." (Side note: businessman does not mean salesman, does not mean he has to wear a suit, etc. - this term has been blown completely out of proportion by a few people who shall remain nameless.) Anyway, a few months ago, "a businessman" appeared on her doorstep for Halloween. We decided he was too young for me. Now, here is the latest "businessman" she has found for me. And I must say, this one could have potential...

(also referred to as the "hug me pillow.")

Reflecting on the Weekend...

1. I'm not sure if there is such a thing as too much Scrabulous but here's my problem: I was walking home on Friday night and (without realizing it) assigning point values to letters I saw on license plates. I finally realized it when I got really excited to see an XXJ license plate. Wow.
2. Have you been to Southdale recently to see a movie? When I go there, I actually get excited to dry my hands. The bathrooms now have this super sweet hand dryer that basically has lazer air. If this air could cut you, it would. Definitely drink a pop during the next movie you see there.
3. My best friend just got engaged. If any of you saw my facebook status recently, that's what "another one bites the dust" is referring to - even though I'm kind of kidding. I've actually been pretty lucky. Most of my good girlfriends are not married. And if there is one couple I'm ridiculous happy for, it's them. I hang out with them all the time -both together and separate- and A)rarely do i feel like a third wheel and B)they are a couple that I think more people should be like. They actually can spend time apart and go out separately. They still say the word "I" instead of "we." (Side note: I fucking hate when people revamp their entire vocabulary to include their significant other. WOOF.) So if they continue to be cool throughout their married life, and I continue to be uncool, maybe I'll pull a Joey from Friends and live above their garage.
   

AppLe FRiTTeRs

I'm blogging for two reasons today. One, so that icky blog I posted yesterday doesn't show up on top of the page anymore. I can't believe I even added that picture. It's gross. And two, to tell you how much I love apple fritters lately. I blame a certain office services person. WHen I started at CL, they always served donuts at the welcome breakfasts. Then for a while they got cheap and started serving breads, dried cinnamon rolls, etc. But now, they're back to the donuts. But this time, the spread is better than ever. Almost any kind of donut you want is available at these breakfasts. A couple weeks ago, I came late and had a somewhat limited selection. However, staring me in the eye was an apple fritter. Sure, I've had them before and they're good so I figured, why not? Boy was I wrong. As Tony the Tiger would say, "they're not good, they're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!" Well now I can't get enough. Welcome breakfast? I'm one of the first ones running down there to claim my apple fritter. Starbucks? Apple fritter. Byerly's? Apple fritter. But the worst part is, now I actually go out of my way to get one. I've always thought starting your day out with a donut is a really good sign. An apple fritter takes that to a whole new level.

WoULd YoU WaLK or WaiT???

A Monkey AND Porn!

By now, most of you have heard the rule of never deleting a monkey. I happen to stumble across this picture while looking for Harley-Davidson dealer logos. As my friend Negator clearly pointed out, she needs a bra fitting.

BaNsHEEs

More and more I've been questioned about the capabilities of a banshee. Yes Matt, you can text like a banshee. Yes Mama, I shed like a banshee. Yes person from work, I'm busy like a banshee. Yes Jesse, you can eat like a big banshee. Banshees are very versatile. The question is - can you keep up? Right now, reader, you might be confused. But are you confused like a banshee???

I HaVe tHe AnsWeR.

SOUP.
The main reason I rarely cook is because I can't afford to buy crazy ingredients all the time. If I decide to buy something out of the ordinary (and this for me means anything besides macaroni & cheese, grilled cheese, mini corn dogs, pudding pops - you get the idea) a majority of the ingredients go to waste. I'm rarely home and when I am - it's just me! But NOW, soup is my answer. Tired of bruschetta or caprese salad? Still have tomatos, basil and fresh mozzarella? Tomato soup! Still have all the ingredients left over from Thai Chicken Pizza but no pizza crust? Thai Chicken soup! Still have extra scallops, clams, crab and shrimp? NO! I wish. But if I did....SOUP!!!

PaSSioN

It's not something you can magically turn on or off. Whether it be a relationship, a project, a hobby, a career. How is a person supposed to just stop caring one day when they've invested so much into it for so long? Sometimes you're forced to stop caring, other times you know it's for your own good. But even when you have to stop for one reason or another, can you?

DeSpeRaTioN

WhaT DoEs YOUR bEd LooK LiKe?

So I got in an interesting conversation last night at bowling (which by the way were some of the worst games I've bowled in my life). Why are girls' beds always nicer than boys's beds? Sleeping is something we have in common. There is no difference in the way girls sleep or the way boys sleep. I've heard girls snore with the best of them. And I'm not saying this is a good thing. Nonetheless, do girls just like to be more comfortable? We always have big down comforters, fluffy pillows, high beds, etc. Boys barely have more than one sheet. And what's the point in having a pillow if it's super flat? You boys are always sprawled out in your recliners, scratching your balls and whatnot. Why not be as comfortable in your bed as you are on your couch? What gives?