FoR tHe BoYs OUt tHeRe...

iT's a ScaN aRTisT!

A fellow sandwich lover told me about this blog: http://scanwiches.com. It takes a scan of the insides of sandwiches. Some of them look fantastic. Like the turkey, fresh mozzerella and roasted red peppers. Wow. Let me at it! Or the Outrageous BLT with apple-smoked bacon, fire-roasted jalapenos, tomatoes, avacado, garlic mayo, and greens?!

It really makes me want to scan a picture in of my favorite sandwich in Big Sky, Montana.

Name: Your new favorite

Ingredients: Ciabatta, Turkey, Avacado, Green Chiles, Bacon & Pepperjack Cheese.

I promise to at least take a picture of it next time I'm out there.

dEciSionS aRe tHE woRsT

PaRty oWL

dRuNKeN TRee bRaWL

Last night two drunk birds got into a big fight in the tree outside my window. They kept me up super late arguing. One bird was super pissed off and talking super loud, while the other bird was a bit more low key. Granted I'm not fluent in BIRD but I think the conversation went something like this:

Girl Bird: I HATE YOU.
Boy Bird: What'd I do this time?
Girl Bird: YOU'RE SUCH A LIAR!
Boy Bird: Calm down. I just flew home from work and wanted to grab a beer with the rapters.
Girl Bird: YOU HAVE LIPSTICK ON YOUR BEAK!
Boy Bird: The bar had a free berry buffet.
Girl Bird: OH YEAH? THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE BLONDE FEATHER ON YOUR BACK???
Boy Bird: It's gray. I'm getting old, baby.
Girl Bird: YOU'RE SUCH A LIAR!
Boy Bird: What are you really mad at?
Girl Bird: I JUST SAT ON THE KIDS ALL DAY WHILE YOU WERE OUT "WORKING."
Boy Bird: Someone has to bring home the worms.
Girl Bird: YOU NEVER BUY ME ANYTHING ANYMORE. THE LAST PIECE OF JEWELRY YOU BROUGHT HOME FOR ME WAS A PLASTIC 6-PACK POP RING. AND THAT WASN'T FUNNY!!!!
Boy Bird: Do you need a hug and peck?
Girl Bird: Yes.
(fluttering)
Boy Bird: Let's go home now. I need to put the storm twigs up. It's supposed to be really windy tomorrow.

VaCaTioN Day oN HumP DaY

I took work off this past Wednesday. Here are a few learnings:

1. Swimsuit bottoms can be misinterpreted for underwear. So if you're lifting up your friends' dresses taking pictures of their butts, people may get the wrong impression.


2. If there are 40 MPH winds and you're sitting by a beach covered in sunscreen, you WILL end up with a dirt mustache.


3. If you want to talk yourself up, don't start with the phrase "I don't mean to stroke my own goat..."


4. If you're going to start a fire, make sure you have the following: a picture, a lighter, a camera, Billy Joel's 'We Didn't Start the Fire,' a cup of water (not as an afterthought) and a flame retardent bed. Oh, and one hot fireman.


5. If you want to order a pizza, make sure you didn't just eat a pizza.