oNe oF mY faVoRitE coMMeRciALs

Ha!

mY MORNing

Picture this...it's a pleasant -12 degrees here in Minneapolis without the windchill.

1. I wake up to a frozen nose, NOT wanting to get out of bed.
2. Put on more layers just to get up and get ready for work. My condo unit has dropped to 50 degrees.
3. I throw all the clothes I'm going to wear for the day (including long underwear) in the dryer to get them nice and warm.
4. Watch TV in hopes that my work will be running across the bottom of the news with all of the school cancellations. No such luck.
5. Get dressed. Put on my down coat, a hat, two scarves, two sets of mittens and sinch my hat. I wish I still had my ski goggles at times like these.
6. I walk to the front door and actually whimper out loud - just dreading what's about to come.
7. I die.
8. Just kidding. My prep work actually paid off. Wasn't horrible. Except for my eyes watering making my mascara run.
9. Then I think to myself, why do I live here?

"...iN tHEsE cRaZY tiMes..."

This is my go-to line for anything that doesn't make sense lately. For example:

• "In these crazy times I'll drink anything that's put in front of me."
• "I'll steal people's lunches out of the fridge in these crazy times."
• "Just get on those people's tab. These here are crazy times..."
• "In these crazy times, I just gotta be friends with whoever's left."
• "So what if the burger is burnt. These are crazy times and it's only $2.95."
• "You get a chaser that's the same size as the actual bloody mary. You can't go wrong in these crazy times!"
• "In these crazy times I even ate a cold meatball."
• "In these crazy times you just have to steal whenever you can."
• "I should have saved his number." "Yeah but that would be creepy." "Yeah but in these crazy times..."

HoT LiKe a hOt dOG.

DRooLiNg oVer DON DRAPER

tHe LoVE oF mY LiFe