gEEzeR?

I made fun of my dad the other day for being old and a couple days later, he sent me this joke. I found it hilarious.

A girl took her dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he was 66).

They decided to grab a bite at the food court.
She noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours - green, red, orange, and blue. Her dad kept staring at the teenager.
The teenager kept looking and would find the dad staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked, “What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life? He responded without batting an eyelid. “Got stoned once and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my daughter."

hEaRD iT. LoVEd It.

"These mosquitoes aren't cooperating with my no-mosquito policy."

FaCT SeRiEs: LLaMaS

Color is always a surprise. Llamas can be born solid, spotted or a variety of color & patterns. It has nothing to do with the color if its parents.

SoFa-KiNG aWeSoME

FiNaNciAL QuOtEs to mAKE yoU SOuNd sMaRTeR

1. Time is money.
2. If it doesn't make dollars then it doesn't make sense.
3. You can't afford NOT to buy it!

Just kidding. Don't say these. You will get your ass kicked. But.....I still use them. We could all use more benjamins.

i WisH i WaS taLLeR

So I was telling some friends the other day that I'm thinking of adopting an 18 year old. That way I will have skipped all the stuff babies, kids and teenagers bring to the table. Dirt. Crying. Braces. Attitude. Stealing your car. Drums. A toilet-papered house. 5am hockey practice. Detention. The birds and the bees. Stranger danger. Frog dissection. Temper tantrums. Mud pies. I'm sure I don't even know the half of it.

Therefore, if I adopted an 18 year old, we could bond while they go to college and I would be part of their lives from there on out. We would talk, laugh, drink, go out to eat, share our crazy stories of when we were younger, etc., etc. We would be family who are friends. But this would guarantee me being taken care of once I lose my mind or am lonely during the holidays.